R.B.I. Baseball

I found this game ages ago in a neighbor's garage sale. Let me make this clear for you: I had absolutely zero knowledge of baseball, other than how the game basically worked. I really have no idea why I paid maybe a dollar for this game out of any others that could have been in that garage sale box, but the instant I popped this weirdly shaped cart into my system, it quickly became one of my most played NES games.


Really, R.B.I. Baseball is nothing out of the ordinary for a NES generation baseball game. It's fluid, it's smooth, and all three music tracks of the game will really find their way into your head for the rest of the day while you grind your teeth down humming the "no batters on" song for the rest of the day (excuse that pitiful excuse of a midi). Be sure to notice how short that is, you're going to hear it at least 20 times an inning.

There are two baseball games I have ever been good at in my entire life. The first is the original NES Baseball game, which I only played years later building up my collection of NES games in Animal Crossing, and old R.B.I. Baseball. That being said, I don't think this game really poses any difficulty to the player. It is a really simple game you can pick up half way through the game, and as long as the CPU hasn't run up 10 more runs than you, it's simple to catch up later in the game. But with two buttons and characters that all run in the same direction, you can't expect much. There is little to talk about the game. Hit the ball, make sure the other team doesn't hit the ball. There's actually a bunt in the game (push the swing button for a fraction of a second and the swing stops mid-way and sets you up for a bunt), stealing, beaning batters - you know, all the good stuff.

It really isn't a game you get angry over. When baseball players started looking more like people and not like cartoon characters, it brought in more advanced playing, with more than two pitches (the fastball and the "defy physics ball" squiggly slow ball), the ability to move your outfielders without moving the infielders, etc... But R.B.I. Baseball does not seem gimped by the limited play you get. It's more like playing an arcade game than playing a baseball game. There are just things you laugh at, like when someone makes an error. He looks so surprised that he just missed that grounder. As an aside, look at that umpire too, the little blob of a man with a head and a pair of feet. Laughable.

Everything about R.B.I. Baseball is just overall, in a word, simple. But above that, it's charming, fun, and really can suck you in, baseball fan or not. Surprisingly, I found out this game is actually licensed by the Major League Baseball Players Association, but not the MLB itself, meaning you get to play as your favorite players (in the game), without all the fun of actually having mascots and actual stadiums. Have fun choosing between your teams by city only, and limited to 8 cities: Boston, California, Detroit, Houston, Minnesota, New York, St. Louis, and San Francisco (no Chicago wtf :c). And of course you're presented with the American and the National "All Star teams," giving you an unfair advantage when your friend chooses a normal team and you try to pass off "Am" to mean "Anaheim" or something. Though you're better off choosing Boston or Houston just to pitch with Roger Clemens or Nolan Ryan, boasting some 90-something mph pitches as opposed to the 70-something every other pitcher in the game seems to sit at. Some fastball, right?

Still, the game is still fun to play, and I'll take it over Ken Griffey Jr.'s Slugfest or whatever baseball game you're playing these days. Though, it's getting hard to play a game that makes it to the seventh inning stretch, let alone the end of the ninth inning. But sometimes you just want to see that victory screen. I led Detroit to a solid victory in this game, as you can see. Head's up for that next game, though: ahblahblahblahblahbl. I hear it's going to be a good game